Wrestling Promo

The greatest promo in wrestling history – “Cane Dewey”

“More than anyone else in that ECW dressing room, Tommy Dreamer, maybe more than anybody else in the wrestling industry, you are willing to pay the price: to sweat, to bleed, to suffer. You’re willing to bare that cross and I said “Tommy, don’t do it.” Because, you see, in order to sacrifice and bare that cross for them, it means I’ve got to suffer too, and I’m telling you from the voice of experience that they’re not worth it, Tommy. They’re not worth it! You see, you’ve got the choice, not me. I’ve made my bed of nails, and I’ve got no other choice but to be powerbombed on it! But you see Tommy, the world is smiling at you, the wrestling business is smiling at you, and don’t you frown back on it! I’m going to take you back to a very deciding point in my life–a time when I believed in something. A time when I thought that my face and my name made a difference. Do you remember the night, Tommy Dreamer, because it’s embedded in my skull, it’s embedded in my heart, and it’s embedded in every nightmare that I will ever have. As Terry Funk took a broken bottle and began slicing and dicing Cactus Jack, the pain was so much that I’ll be honest with you Tommy. The pain was so much that I wanted to say I quit, Terry Funk, I give, I wave the flag, and I’m a coward–just please don’t cut me anymore. Then I saw my saving grace. You see, Tommy, I looked out in that audience, my adoring crowd, and I saw two simple words that changed my life. ‘Cane Dewey.’ Somebody had taken the time and the effort and the thought to make a sign that said, ‘Cane Dewey’ and I saw other people around, as every moment in my life stopped and focused in on that sign and the pain that shot through my body became distant memory–replaced by the pain that will be embedded in my skull ’til my dying day! ‘Cane Dewey.’ ‘Cane Dewey.’ Dewey Foley is a three-year-old boy, you sick sons of bitches! You ripped out my heart, you ripped out my soul, you took everything I believed in and you flushed it down the damn toilet. You flushed my heart, you flushed my soul, and now it sickens me to sit back and see other people making the same mistake. You see, Tommy Dreamer I have to listen to my little boy say every day of my life ‘Daddy, I miss Atlanta,’ and I say, ‘That’s too bad son, because your dad traded in the Victorian house for a sweat box on Long Island. Your Dad traded in a hundred-thousand dollar contract, guaranteed money, insurance, respect and the name on the dotted line of the greatest man in the world – to work for a scumbag who operates out of a little piss ant pawn shop in Philadelphia.’ You don’t expect me to be bitter? Tommy, when you open your heart, when you open you soul, and it gets shit on, it tends to make Jack a very mean boy. and so, I say to you–before I take these aggressions out on you–to look at your future and realize that the hardcore life is a lie, that these letters behind me are a blatant lie, that those fans who sit there and say ‘He’s Hardcore He’s Hardcore He’s Hardcore’, wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire, you selfish son of a bitch! But, I want you to understand Tommy though he’s hurt you time and time again, deep in his heart, Raven wants you to understand that the hatred I have in here is not for you. No, no–far removed. You see, Tommy, I’m not doing this because I hate you–I love you, man! I only want the best for you–but when I hear that WCW called up your number and you said, ‘No thank you’ — well, it makes my blood run cold. As cold as that night in the ECW arena. And so I have got a moral obligation – you see Tommy, I’m on the path of the righteousness and righteous men wield a lot of power. So if I’ve got to drag you by your face to that telephone call and dial collect and say, ‘Hello Eric, it’s me, Cactus, and though I know I’ve burned my bridge, and I’ll never be taken back with open arms–I’ve got a wrestler who would gladly trade in his ECW shirt for a pair of green suspenders.’ And Tommy, just think of that sound in your ear when Uncle Eric says, ‘Welcome home, Tommy Dreamer, welcome home.’ I love being right.”

- Mick Foley as Cactus Jack. ECW television. 1995

Austin 3:16

“The first thing I want to be done is to get that piece of crap out of my ring. Don’t just get him out of the ring, get him out of the WWF, because I proved, son, without a shadow of a doubt, that you ain’t got what it takes anymore! You sit there, and you thump your bible, and you say your prayers, and it didn’t get you anywhere. Talk about your Psalms, talk about John 3:16 – AUSTIN 3:16 SAYS I JUST WHIPPED YOUR ASS! All he’s gotta do is go buy him a cheap bottle of Thunderbird and try to get back some of that courage he had in his prime. As the king of the ring, I’m servin’ notice to every one of the ‘WWF superstars.’ I don’t give a damn what they are, they’re all on the list, and that’s Stone Cold’s list, and I’m fixin’ to start runnin’ through all of them. As far as this championship match is considered, son, I don’t give a damn if it’s Davey Boy Smith or Shawn Michaels. Steve Austin’s time has come, and when I get the shot, you’re lookin’ at the next WWF Champion, and that’s the bottom line because Stone Cold said so!”

- King of the Ring 1996, Stone Cold Steve Austin